Deez Nutz: Dealing with Self Doubt
tell ur negative thoughts to suck on deez nutz
Mr. Beast, a popular Youtuber and probably the first content creator who will become a billionaire, holds “Deez Nutz”
Podcast. Tiktoks of any genre. Baking Business. What do all those things have in common? Well, for one, when *you* start something you can imagine someone groaning, rolling their eyes, and hearing them drop a line like “oh no, just what we needed! Another [insert endeavor of choice].” It’s become passé to try things, and especially cringe to show that you are trying things — but I still think it’s worth it.
In the past few weeks alone, I’ve spoken with a number of people who don’t consider themselves creative by any means embarking on releasing something creative publicly. The most common reservation? What other people think. “Oh my God, will people like this reels? Do I have something of value to add to the discourse?”
Off the bat, there’s a reality you need to accept before moving forward with reading the rest of this. That is: most people care more about themselves than they do about you. Stated differently, most people aren’t even thinking of you.
Ok. But what does that mean for you as someone trying to start something new? You’re probably overestimating how much weight anyone gives to the thing you’re producing.
Let’s try to breakdown the psyche of the average person you think is going to find your shit cringe/stupid/useless/[insert noun with negative connotation of choice]. What’s normal and constant for most people is eating, sleeping, and shitting. Outside of that most endeavors are perceived as, when it all boils down, to either people doing something so they can fuck or to rise in status (or both!) — and hey, perhaps there’s some great truth in that. But these are really simple ways of looking at the world, and these perspectives tend to serve as a cope. That which deviates from the norm, for this matter “those who” works as well, is very threatening to the realities of those who prefer to preserve their way of looking at the world.
Once we understand how those who we fear will perceive our work will probably think, it’s then time to go one level deeper. Most of the time, these fears are all in your head. Your self doubt is manifesting into these characters and scenarios that are playing out in no other place other than your head. Chances are if you are starting something for the first time and just getting it off the ground, there hasn’t really been any tangible opposition to that we have even yet to release into the world. The problem with these fears is that they can creep in while you’re doing the creative work. So now you’re sitting there split brained expending brain power on the shit you’re supposed to be doing AND, in addition, thinking about hypotheticals of “what will so and so say? what will so and so think?” Why the fuck does any of that matter? Rarely are the people engaging with your stuff the same people that put food on your table — especially if you’re starting out.
For what it’s worth, I am taking my own advice right now. I’ll level with you, the voices in my head is telling me to keep this one in the drafts because it needs more work. I’m scared that what I’ve just written will not be coherent, and people will think I’m dumb because of it. Actually, I have a super irrational thought: this one snob who annoys the fuck out of me will feel vindicated by reading the headline of this alone (lol).
As I write this piece at a little past midnight on Feb 22nd, 2023 the only thought in my head is that I’m going to make sure this article is going live whether I like it or not. Then I’m going to keep it steppin’ and do better on the next article. Because in my head I’m like “yo here’s the deal. sure this article might be shit, but this is just one more rep i have over Haroon from the past.” I’m becoming a better writer one article at a time, and by becoming a better writer I’m becoming stronger at articulating my thoughts, that are always somehow entangled, coherently.
Anyways look, if all of this rationalization isn’t cutting it for you. That’s fine. Here’s an age old tactic for ya’, whether for a character in your head or IRL, tell em’ to “suck on deez nutz.” It’s worked thus far for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Sincerely,
Haroon
shieeee, u right