cool stuff i found #24: to have a launchpad
thinking about how you create that social safety net
it’s my Kobe edition! that’s right, we’re officially at 24 editions of CSIF. this week we’re (once again) switching up the style and format of the newsletter as inspired by Nix. we’re gonna start off with an essay of mine baked in called “to have a launchpad,” and then we’ll get into: what I’ve read, what I’m seeing, and what I’m listening to.
edit 11/17: just added in some fresh headers designed by @designsbysaj
so without further adieu
to have a launchpad
i feel unstoppable right now in my ability to create. a lot of it comes from this really concrete sense of confidence in my support system. i mean yeah, i also very much believe in myself (to a delusional degree), but that goes up and down if i’m being honest.
like i’m at a place where I feel like I have the space to try and fail, and try and fail again and if I’m down I get picked up and if I’m off the rails I get checked. i have the space where i feel loved, but i’m not surrounded by yes-men. and that happened organically but also somewhat… inorganically? i’d be lying to you if i didn’t say there’s a lot of work that needs to be done in how one must cultivate the type of people you surround yourself with because that’s how you construct your own feedback loops.
henrik describes how the “cultivating the type of people you surround yourself with” works. in his essay, “first we shape our social graph,” he brings up the story of Blaise Pascal (of no relation to Pedro Pascal), a famous mathematician.
Blaise Pascal, too, was homeschooled by his father. His father choose not to teach him math. (The father, Etienne, had a passion for mathematics that he felt was slightly unhealthy. He feared mathematics would distract Pascal from less intrinsically rewarding pursuits, such as literature, much like modern parents fear TikTok.) Pascal had to teach himself. When it was discovered that Pascal, then a young teenager, had rederived several of Euclid’s proofs, the family relocated to Paris so father and son could participate in the mathematical salons of Mersenne. The instinct was to curate a culture, not to teach, not primarily.
— Henrik
and after engrossing himself, not without the help of his family who relocated alongside him to Paris, in the salons of Mersenne does he go on to become the famous mathematician that he is (don’t ask me a goddamn thing about what he’s contributed, idk).
but that’s what henrik says about how to “shape your social graph.” that by changing your context to something that aligns with your interests, you stand to grow a whole lot. but that’s not what i’m talking about.
i’m talking about surrounding yourself with people that don’t simply tolerate your existence, but celebrate your presence. they may or may not be intrinsically interested in whatever you’re working on. these people are often are to find because well i, you, us, we’re not all everyone’s cup of tea. so then how do you go about finding them?
there’s this idea that if you embrace your “authentic self” that you’ll generate the signals to attract those that celebrate you. but you don’t want fans. what you want are people that do both: check ya’ when you need it, but push you to grow more. sure, this all starts by being your most real self, but — idk, do you see the chicken or egg problem here? because when you put yourself out there, you inevitably do put yourself up to get rejected. and not everyone has the same pain tolerance for rejection.
but it doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing, zero sum type of game where you’re either your whole self or not. i think it’s about allowing yourself to put up parts of yourself out there a little at a time.
you want to go be a standup comedian? awesome! go spend time with other comedians. allow the craft itself to bring out a part of you that you might not be able to bring out in other settings. as you gain comfort and a sense of place amongst comedians, you may decide to change up and decide you want to lean into the heavy versus the levity. once again, great! so then you put that part of your self out there amidst the poets. now here begins the tricky part: reconciliation.
if you’re one way with the comedians, and one way with the poets — there may be quite a great deal of dissonance despite both sides of you belonging to the same being but attracting different types of people. i think you slowly introduce those parts of your lives to the other parts. the poets to a standup show, the comedians to a slam poetry night. and then you see who stays at the intersection.
and your people aren’t necessarily the friends that attend all your shows or events in both genres, oh God no. ain’t nobody has the time for that. rather, pay attention to the people that don’t flinch at the different sides of you. among these folk, you’ll find from them a growing and glowing a sense of curiosity. when you go off the conventional path that had been set by them in their brains, they pause and allow themselves — as dangerous as they make think the path may be — to be in a sense of wondrous awe as to where you could go next.
carry yourself lightly by nix
so this is the essay that i gained the inspo to change up the format from. this whole piece is quite straight forward, but it boils down to allowing yourself to change alongside the flow. sure, you write things down. you notice your patterns. but ultimately there’s a lot of serendipity in life, if you’ll allow it.
this water color dinner scene on the front of the May 1964 New Yorker cover just catches my eye. it’s real elevated, and just so pleasant to look at. i love the bold dark border lines that shape out the characters. something about it all feels so pleasantly classy. it doesn’t feel gaudy to me for otherwise could be a very gaudy scene. it’s simple, and with just enough color to capture the moment.
Mwaki - Zerb, Sofiya Nzau
so my roommate put me onto this song this weekend, and i’ve been playing it non-stop. i do this thing, i know i can’t be the only one, but i’ll listen to the same song like 100x in a row. like i won’t even try to listen anything else, and it slowly just becomes the soundtrack of my life for that week. well, Mwaki is that for me this week.
Shinjuku House Digging
i have no idea what Shinjuku House Digging means or is, but i loved this playlist. matter of fact, it was what i was listening to as i wrote this.
Thanks for reading this edition. Share this with your friends, your grandma, or your neighbor. And if you made it to the end of this essay and you didn’t just scroll, dm me a 🥁 on either twitter or instagram. or leave a comment! As always,
Sincerely,
Haroon
P.S. Check out my previous newsletter if you’re curious: Cool Stuff I Found #23